E Why?

It’s 2008. I am working in the sales department of a major hospitality firm. My office is near Gurgaon, and the head office in central Delhi. The NH8 is still being built, and it takes about two hours to travel from one to the other.

I’d finished my day at work and reached the head office for an annual sales event. 

Prior to the event starting my super-boss told me that I’d forgot to send one report to her. I apologise, and tell her that I’d send it first thing tomorrow.

She disagrees.

So I suggest that I’ll quickly make the report on one of the computers in the central office and give it to her. Pronto. 

She disagrees.

She tells me, “You go back to the Gurgaon office right now, make that report, send it to me from there, and come back to attend the event at the central office, or never show me your face again.”

It’s 6:30 in the evening. I have finished a whole day of work. Even if I drove Need for Speed style, made that report NFS’d back to the event, it’d probably be 10PM. And then I’d have to attend the event.

Guess who never saw my face again?

F*ck that b*tch.

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With that one act of defiance, I drove a stake into what could have been, a flourishing corporate career.

Now, I have attitude problems. I don’t take it from anyone. Unless my life and limb depend on doing so.

Most people do not consider that as an option. But come to think of it, do they really have one?

I’ve gone through my life, not giving a single f*ck, trading a great career for refusing to take manipulation and abuse, trading a fancy condo, luxury cars, a fat investment portfolio and social clout for freedom and the ability to LIVE.

Not everyone is that brave and / or stupid.

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See, most of us are brought up with financial and career based success as our primary values. 

The newspapers are filled with stories of the multiple crore packages that IIT / IIM graduates bag. We’re bombarded with stories about how Indians who landed abroad have now made it to the top of the food chain in multiple MNCs. We’re (explicitly or implicitly) told that financial success is the ONLY metric that matters.

We live in a third world country that has widespread poverty. We look at the conditions we’re in, if born poor, and want to get out of them desperately. Or if we’re not born into poverty, we look at the conditions around us, and not-a-chance-in-hell want to end up there.

On the other hand, we’re sold totems of success like luxury cars, condos with pools, the snazzy vacations abroad, branded clothes, high end devices et. al.

Add to it our industry “titans”(like Narayana Murthy), or CEOs of successful brands and startups (like Shantanu Deshpande) openly advocating 70+ hour work weeks and the ridiculousness of a work-life balance.

Cherry on top of the crap filled cake?

The bosses we have to deal with. Having risen through this relentless hustle, and still a part of it, given a modicum of authority, ensure that what they endured must also be a curse that needs to passed on to younger generations. Their pent up frustrations solely accrued through living a soul-less life full of brown nosing, are handed down the hierarchy through micro-managing, abusive behaviour, brow-beating, relentless politics and outright disrespect.

Why are we then, SO shocked that an EY employee died of overwork?

Its all fucked up.

The way most of us are going about our careers and lives in most developing countries is all kinds of fucked up. We, somehow, have in our chase forgotten that we are living beings and not robots. 

We, as humans, need:

• At least 6-8 hours of sleep daily
• To clean and groom ourselves
• To keep physically active to keep our bodies and minds functional
• To engage with books, art etc. to keep our minds healthy
• To have hobbies
• To find a mate, or at least get far enough to satisfy our sexual needs
• To spend time in nature
• To spend time with family
• To connect with others socially outside of work

Take a few of those out, and it throws life off-balance.

No wonder the drinking areas attached to wine shops are full of out-of-shape, disgruntled people drowning their work sorrows and bitching about their work lives every weekend.

• No wonder the malls and restaurants are choc over the weekends.
• No wonder we have the highest rate of diabetes and heart disease in the world.
• No wonder that marriages are falling apart and the kids are being brought up solely by nannies.
• No wonder we spend more time on our phones and laptops using social media and watching TV series than meeting friends.
• No wonder that depression and anxiety rates have skyrocketed.
• No wonder people are ending up dead in their 20s, 30s and 40s.

There is no surprise that we’ve had a highly documented and publicised case of death due to overwork. 

The only surprise is that people see it as a solitary case. The others simply haven’t seen that limelight.

We’ve screwed up our lives for a tomorrow, which, if it arrives, will come with a realisation that you cannot do in your 50s with all the money that you could have done in your 20s & 30s, but spent all of it making that money instead.

How do we fix it?

I read a lot of opinion pieces following up the death of Anna Sebastian Perayil, suggesting creation of better and proper implementation of current labour laws.

No. That won’t do squat.

The answer lies with you.

What are you ready to willingly give up to become “successful”? 

If you think that “success-at-any-cost” is something that you subscribe to, more power to you! 

But PLEASE be very aware that every choice is a loss.

If you don’t have generational wealth, earning a lot of it without a fluke involves giving up most other things that make you whole.

Warren Buffet got separated with his wife who he loved extremely dearly, and was hardly present in bringing his kids up.

Elon Musk is a multi-divorced, 53 year old, raving lunatic at the head of a social media platform acting like he is a 16 year old edgelord. Also, his daughter hates him.

I could go on.

Please understand that no amount of money and success will ever be enough. Once you have a BMW you will hanker for a Porsche. Once you have a Porsche, you will do so for a Rolls. Then a private jet, then a yacht, then a mega yacht.

Do you think you will ever reach the epitome of financial “success”?

Where will you stop and decide to smell the roses?

Are you willing to be happy with what you have and then willing to make incremental additions to your mostly balanced life, instead of burning up inside when you see your classmate is now the director of sales at a fortune 500 and just bought himself a BMW M-series?

Are you willing to say no to mental, physical and sexual abuse at your high paying job even if it means losing it and finding something else that pays much lesser?

If the answer is no, then there is no reason to outrage. You are the system you are outraging about.

If the answer is yes, then you have failed by every major success metric in society, and now have to gather enough fortitude to live life at your own terms.

Like I said, every choice is a loss.

But it also is a win, provided to choose to look at it from that perspective.